The Story of TTB (Time Travelling Betaal)

A guest post by the creative minds of my office gang!

Khoonkhaar raat thi...Aasmaan mein kutte chamak rahe the…dharti par taare bhaunk rahe thhe...bhains aayi aur chor ko jump kar ke deewar utha kar le gayi

Etne mein...paani geela ho gaya...aag jalne lagi...hava bhi sookh gayi.....

Aur fir...

Kisi ne Money Plant ke gamle mein ek drop Ubalta hua Mutant Fluid daal diya aur wo bargad ka bolta hua pedh ban gaya....

Bas fir kya tha, Lost world se ek Khukhaar Aadamkhoor Ratzilla...hava mein urdne laga....

Aur chaaro teraf saaaaayein saaaaayein hava ki aavaz aane lagi...

Aur fir...kahien dur se ... ek Bheadiya cheeekhaa....

Aaaaaaoooooooo!!! Aaooooooo!!!

Fir aasmaan mein bijli karadne lagi.......aur water drops ki jagah . .. . . frogs tapakne lage.
....with the sounds....
...trrrrr.......tr tr tr..Dhish dhish....trrrrr...trrr .trrrr......Dhinchak.....Dhinchak...Trrrrr.....

Aur tabhi . .. . .Atiya ne poocha “haan…kya hua?” 

And there she arrived from her time travel... For the uniniatiated, our dear friend tends to get lost at times and it is funny when she suddenly pays attention as if she just had an “out of body” experience. So, here a curtain raiser to the saga of our “Time travelling Betaal”…

Disclaimer: This is purely a work of fiction except for the universally accepted truth that the Diva of this blog tends to ‘time travel’ on and off.

Road to Awesomeness…

How many of you agree with me that Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother) is awesome? The super confident womanizer never lets one forget his ‘awesomeness’. His funny, bold one liners are entertaining, teaching us a thing or two at times. As Barney would say, “The most important thing I’ve learned is how to be awesome. It’s fairly simple:”

1. Don’t even think about getting married until you’re 30.

2. Don’t wait for the signal. Just kiss her or him.

3. Grab life by the crack and lick the crap out of it.

4. If you get caught accidentally grinding with your cousin at a very loud club, italics: that night did not happen.

5. Every Halloween, bring a spare costume in case you strike out with the hottest girl or guy at the party. That way, you have a second chance to make a first impression.

6.  If your brain screws you up, power down that bucket of neuroses, inebriation-style. Five shots should do the trick.

7. Focus on the positive: My life rocks! Money, suits, and sex? These are tears of joy! I could be cooped up in an apartment, changing some brat’s poopy diaper but instead I’m out in the world being awesome 24/7/365!

8. Your job is an important part of your image. 

9. The four most important words at a wedding: It’s for the bride.

10. Create a list of attainable goals and cross off your accomplishments. 

11. Allow people to slap your face, but do not allow them to slap your mind.

12. Invest at the gym. You’ll see aggressive growth in your future.

13. Don’t poop where you eat.

14. Comfort your friends in their hour of need. If that involves really hot kissing, so be it.

15. And finally, when you get sad, stop being sad and be awesome instead.

A Cynic’s Dictionary

In pursuit of the truth…

1.       Adolescents: People who never seem to realize that one day they will be as dumb as their parents

2.       Adam: The luckiest man in the world with no mother in law

3.       Bore: A man when you ask him how he is tells you

4.       Babies: Nine months interest on a small deposit

5.       California: A fine place to live in if you happen to be an orange

6.       Divorce: Fission after fusion

7.       Election: When the air is full of speeches and vice versa

8.       Fashion: Induced epidemics

9.       Gigolo: A fee male

10.   Husband: A man who is chiefly a good lover when he’s betraying his wife

11.   Intellectual: A man who does not know how to park a bike

12.   Journalism: The business of explaining to others what one personally does not understand

13.   Knowledge: Power if you know it about the right person

14.   Laziness: Riding a bike on cobblestones to knock the ash off the cigarette

15.   Make up: What it takes to look natural!

16.   Narcissist: Someone who’s better looking than you

17.   Old age: A very high price to pay for maturity

18.   Pedestrian: People who are knocked down by motor cars

19.   Quartet: Four men, all of whom think that the other three cant sing

20.   Recession: When a neighbor loses his job as opposed to depression when you lose yours

21.   Specialist: A person who knows more and more about less and less

22.   Tact: The ability to describe others as they see themselves

23.   Undertaker: The last man to let you down

24.   Vocation: Any badly paid job which someone has taken out of choice

25.   Wedding: A funeral where you can smell your own flowers

26.   Youth: A disease from which we eventually recover

27.   Zoo: A place devised for animals to study the habits of human beings